For the woman who struggles with a deeply felt desire to have children, but has not been favored in that endeavor:
I understand that there is a time and place for everything, and I can only hope that the thoughts below can be of some encouragement. If a person wants to have a high probability of saying something wise, he can hardly go wrong by merely spouting scripture. However, Solomon (by inspiration,) said in Pr 25:
[11] A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
That implies to me that not all words are fitly spoken, and it is my hope here not to be trite or cliche, but out of an abundance of goodwill to try to say something comforting. The Lord says in Pr 30:
[15] The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give. There are three things that are never satisfied, yea, four things say not, It is enough:
[16] The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, It is enough.
From this it can be clearly understood that the unfulfilled desire to have children is not to be trivialized. Furthermore, in Pr 13:
[12] Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
If the desire doesn’t come, it stands to reason that the heart would just stay sick. Nor is the extent of this easily communicated. Pr 14:
[10] The heart knoweth his own (my emphasis) bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.
How then can we address this human plight of being barren, (even if science can sometimes surmount physical obstacles?) I don’t know a lot of scriptures that specifically address the issue, but if they haven’t already been presented to you, the following thoughts may partially alleviate some of your distress. One of our most famous passages of scripture is Isaiah 53. Since bits and bytes are “free” I have quoted it here in its entirety so you may refresh your memory conveniently.
[1] Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed?
[2] For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
[3] He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
[4] Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
[5] But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.
[6] All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all.
[7] He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.
[8] He was taken from prison and from judgment: and who shall declare his generation? for he was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was he stricken.
[9] And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth.
[10] Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.
[11] He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.
[12] Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.
The particular verse I had in mind to highlight was vs 10, where it says “...he (God) shall see his (Christ’s) seed...” This is interesting, because as we know, Christ had no physical offspring. Since we know from Heb 4:
[15] For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.
I am supposing that at some point it must have crossed Christ’s mind that he would like to have children himself. To follow hard on the heels of that thought, you might also like to consider the very first verse of the next chapter. Isa 54:
[1] Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD.
[2] Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes;
[3] For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited.
[4] Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more.
[5] For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
[6] For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God.
[7] For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee.
[8] In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer.
[9] For this is as the waters of Noah unto me: for as I have sworn that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth; so have I sworn that I would not be wroth with thee, nor rebuke thee.
[10] For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.
[11] O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colours, and lay thy foundations with sapphires.
[12] And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones.
[13] And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.
[14] In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee.
[15] Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me: whosoever shall gather together against thee shall fall for thy sake.
[16] Behold, I have created the smith that bloweth the coals in the fire, and that bringeth forth an instrument for his work; and I have created the waster to destroy.
[17] No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD.
I know that the command to sing doesn’t explain why outright, or more especially how, but sometimes just knowing that a command is there (understanding that all commands can be obeyed) can be an encouragement. The rest of the chapter is certainly full of promises. If that’s all old hat to you, at least it is the Lord’s discussion of the subject.
In another vein, Ps 127:
[3] Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Here we see that children are axiomatically a blessing from the Lord. So when the Lord doesn’t bestow this particular blessing, a person can easily feel that they are receiving no blessings at all. In response to that thought, I would like to suggest that rather than merely sing a verse of “count your blessings,” we look for other blessings that we can take a Godly joy in. Everyone has their own favorite verses, but a basic one to me is Pr 14:
[22] Do they not err that devise evil? but mercy and truth shall be to them that devise good.
Here we see that devising good has the reward of “Mercy and Truth.” This leads to Pr 3:
[3] Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:
[4] So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
It follows then, that mercy and truth leads to favor in God’s sight. Not only so, but in Pr 16:
[6] By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the LORD men depart from evil.
Purging iniquity from our heart (as we all know,) is more easily said than done. If this can be accomplished as a result of “devising good,” it is worthwhile to give some thought to it. Here I will take a moment to share a couple of thoughts with you on that subject, because in truth, I don’t know a lot else to add, specific to the trial of barrenness. If we read Ecclesiastes, we can become very dis-heartened that it is possible to devise good at all. However, we know that visiting spirits (people?) in prison is something that Christ did. Not only that, but feeding the hungry, and generally helping those less fortunate is also good. Mt 25:
[35] For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
[36] Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
[37] Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
[38] When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
[39] Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
[40] And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
It is worth adding that many times we think of “devising good” in terms of things that can be done with money. If we do, we need to remember that I Tim 6:
[10] For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
When we begin to use money for any charitable purpose, the first people who are attracted can be those who love money. As such, we need to constantly be weeding out the evil tree that proceeds from that root. This takes foresight, vigilance and is good practice for wisdom. So, not to say “we cannot use money to devise good,” but a little soap-box on a pitfall or two.
In closing, I would like to draw your attention to Pr 17:
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